It’s champagne for me. Unfortunatelyposted by: mothercare
The test was negative. I even splashed out on a digital one which says ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’ but there were the words as clear as anything, ‘not pregnant’. I felt so disappointed again. Dan was being optimistic and saying to me it’ll happen in time and not to worry about it, but how can I not worry? It’s me, my body and the thought that I might not be able to have children is overwhelming. I know you’ll probably think I’m being silly, as this is only our second month of trying, but it still worries me that there could be something wrong with me.
We went to the wedding that night and I drank a lot of champagne. It didn’t help that there was a pregnant woman at our table who talked about babies all night. Not sure I could have coped, but Dan’s hand squeezed my knee every now and again and just knowing he was there was good.
I had a fuzzy head from the drink the next day and Dan informed me that I had drunkenly told one of my friends that we were ‘trying’. He was cross with me but he understood I was drunk and emotional! Luckily I’d told Amy who is one of my best friends and is also very discreet. It’s also nice to know I have a friend I can go to now with all my woes instead of loading it all on Dan’s shoulders.
It’s back to square one for us now. As soon as my period has finished we’ll carry on trying to conceive and hopefully we’ll have better luck with our third attempt.